What God isn't...

The amount of times I go to God, go to Jesus and hope he'll tell me it's okay is beyond the point in counting. I offend God, or sin against Him regularly, every day. It's not something I enjoy doing, but something I have to continue to evaluate. But I still want to go to Him, tell Him I'm very sorry for being a nit-wit, and hope that Jesus will turn to me and tell me it will be okay.

The fact is, it isn't okay. God's never happy about any of the stupid stuff I do. I never hear Him say, it's okay. I learnt a long time ago that saying 'okay' is one of the most ridiculous things to say. My dad would tell me off for lying, or cheating, or breaking something, and then I would say to him, 'okay.' In my ten-year-old way of pretending I'm taking the discipline.

He would say back to me, 'it's not okay, though.' And it would get me every time. Until I started to say sorry instead. It made me think about what I'd actually done, rather than react to what was being said to me afterwards. And when I turn to God everyday, for forgiveness, He tells me it's not okay. It's not okay that I do the things I do that offend Him, or say the things I say that offend Him, it just not okay.

But, and this is a great big but, Jesus is risen! 1 Corinthians 15, in it's mystical power, explains the extent of the resurrection to the point that if it's not true all Christians are to be pitied. I think sometimes I live in a way that is not pitiful if my faith isn't true. But, in that resurrection, I find strength (because God also likes to give that if you go to Him) to live a life that is worthy of the Gospel. It's not profound. It's much more than that. It goes beyond a simple, 'okay, I'll change.' It goes to the extreme that if what is truly on offer explained in that letter to the Corinthians, then it is better to live, leaving behind sinful practices, than, 'eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die!'

Jesus loves to offer new life. I need it every day.