I'd like to say I've been busy, but I haven't. In the grand scheme at least life is pretty dull. I'm still without a job, and it leaves me at a loss for activity. The trouble is that without routine, disciplines like letting everyone know what's going on in my mind via this blog becomes a sideline to other less productive things. Even loading the dishwasher has become a chore. I have been thinking about a lot though. You shouldn't worry about that.
Jacob was a schemer. He tricked his older brother into signing over his inheritance for a bowl of stew. Then tricked his dad into giving him a blessing that his older brother deserved by being hairy for his blind father. Then he schemed to marry a girl called Rachel. The trouble is, Rachel's father was also a schemer. He asked Jacob to work 7 years in order for permission to marry her. Jacob was obviously smitten, and it lasted because he worked those 7 years and then attended a marriage. It was his own, but unfortunately not with Rachel. It was with Rachel's sister. That meant a little anger, but he sat down with his new father-in-law and agreed to work another 7 years in order to finally marry Rachel. This was true commitment. In the meantime, he began to collect sheep. What I mean is, he decided to create himself some of his own resources so sifted sheep from all the various flocks he was taking care of and created himself a nice little pension scheme.
After finally marrying Rachel, having a few kids with his first wife and one with his second, he left his father-in-law's land (with a lot of stolen sheep, cattle, and a few of his own servants) and hesitantly went back to his father's land. Predicting his brother's wrath he sent waves of gifts to placate his brother's potential pay back. With nothing left he finally met his brother. He expected quite a harsh reception and sent his brother away quickly with the deposit of his family. And then he waited in the wilderness.
He met a man, with no face and no name. This man wrestled with him. They wrestled all night. Dusk 'til dawn you could say. Contorted figures silhouettes to lone travelers traveling at the cool of night. Even though there was a clear winner so early, the faceless man had advantage over Jacob before they started, Jacob strived, kept going, and held on. As the sun gave it's first hint at light, the faceless man said to Jacob, "I must go now." Jacob began to see something new about his fighter friend.
He was fighting with purpose. This wrestling wasn't some kind of domination tactic to win as much stuff off anyone he came across in the wilderness. Jacob had nothing. He had sent everything ahead of him. Jacob realised this man, this faceless, nameless human figure, wasn't fighting for anything Jacob had, he was fighting for Jacob himself. Jacob became in awe as he realised he was wrestling with his God. The God who had given life to his grandfather's barren wife's womb, to his father's wife's womb, and was now coming down to give Jacob.... something.
He wasn't sure what, so held on. Knowing full well that God could just disappear if He so chose. Jacob braved words that had come out of his mouth once before as he had deceived his father many years previous. "Bless me."
He became stronger. "I won't let go until you bless me."
This stranger Jacob was convinced was God in 'some-kind-of-flesh' seemed to be satisfied with the response he was getting from the contorted figure that held onto Him so tight. "I will bless you," He said, then proceeded to press His finger into Jacob's hip, leaving Jacob crippled. The faceless man disappeared.
Jacob was motionless for a while then he stood. And now he walked, limping back his father's land, back to his family, with a clear message in his side that he was blessed by One that would fight for him. Always limping, and always praising.
Jacob - He strives.
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